We Were Sold a Lie

(TBH, many lies. But this particular one is about alcohol.)

They told us that alcohol was the reward & that we earned it. They lined the aisles with cute bottles of pink rosé and marketed them as self-care, even coined the phrase “wine-down”.

Sauvignon blanc? That bitch was sold as your summer-time crutch for dealing with your kids.

Hard Kombucha? A wellness girlie’s loophole: probiotics for gut health.

High Noons? Psh, basically soda water, so they’re your guilt-free happy hour bestie.

Alcohol became the millennial woman’s cure all: to cope, soften, survive, and celebrate. And for a while, it worked…until it didn’t.

And then we stop….Or we try to.

Capitalism Got Millennial Women Drunk and Called It Self-Care

In her 2013 book Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol, Ann Dowsett Johnston details how, starting in the early 2000s, alcohol companies began aggressively targeting women **especially millennial women** with messaging that blurred the lines between self-care and substance use. Think: “Wine o'clock”, “Mommy juice,” and the whole “you’ve earned this” narrative. Ann calls it alcogenic culture: a system where alcohol is normalized as both reward and relief in a world that overworks and under-supports women.

And it worked because pain is profitable. Between 2005 and 2020, the US women’s alcohol market grew into a multi-billion-dollar segment, with wine consumption among women nearly doubling. By 2022, industry reports estimated that women drove nearly 60% of all wine sales in the US, and the “wine mom” demographic became a cornerstone of alcohol marketing strategy. They didn’t just sell us a drink, they sold us a coping mechanism in a cute, corked bottle and made fucking BILLIONS while we drank ourselves numb…

The Thing Nobody Told Us When They Sold Us 

When you’re used to wine as a bedtime cue, quitting it feels like yanking the emergency brake on a highway.

Your heart’s sprinting.

Your jaw’s locked.

Your brain is monologuing like it’s gunning for an Emmy.

And you’re lying wide awake, stone cold sober, silently screaming into the void.

(Hmm, maybe this is where we get some voodoo dolls for “the man”… I digress.)

What’s Actually Happening to Your Brain (& why you feel like a sleepless feral cat)

Here’s the neuroscience of why you’re wide awake and losing your mind at 2AM:

Alcohol is a depressant and fucks with your neurotransmitters. Specifically, it boosts GABA (a calming neurotransmitter) and suppresses glutamate (an excitatory one) which is why you feel relaxed after a drink; your brain literally slows down.

But when you stop drinking? The inverse happens: GABA plummets, glutamate spikes, and suddenly your nervous system is throwing a rave while your body begs for rest.

According to actual science (Alcohol Research: Current Reviews), withdrawal insomnia is fo’ real: it peaks around 2–3 days, but if you’ve been using alcohol to sleep regularly, it can linger for weeks. Cool cool cool, love that for us.

What Helped Me (and Might Help You)

I won’t pretend any of this is magic, but here’s what made those 2AM’s feel slightly less like a hostage situation:

1. Pretend You’re a Toddler: Create a Consistent Bedtime Routine

Even if you can’t sleep, cue your body for rest:

• Dim lights 1–2 hours before bed & turn off your damn screens, B!

  • Pro Tip: grab a pair of VivaRays circadian glasses

• Warm bath with Epsom salts

• Lavender or magnesium spray on pillows

• Journal. Even if it’s just, “This sucks. I want wine. I hate this.” on repeat

You’re basically retraining your nervous system to wind down without wine and training takes time.

2. Supplements That Don’t Make You Feel Like You Took a Horse Tranquilizer

• Magnesium glycinate – the real MVP for muscle tension and calm. I love Bioptimizers

• L-theanine – green tea’s chill cousin

• Ashwagandha – helps lower stress without making you weird

• Melatonin – go low. 0.3 to 1mg. Any more and you’ll time travel into your trauma

(Disclaimer: Talk to someone with a license if you’re on meds or tapering. Obviously.)

3. Get Light in Your Eyeballs & Move Yo’ Body 

Your circadian rhythm is currently auditioning for a dystopian Netflix series. Help it remember what time it is.

• Morning sunlight in your eyeballs (10–30 min within 1 hour of waking) helps reset circadian rhythm

• Gentle exercise like walking, yoga, or stretching reduces cortisol and increases serotonin

Even if you feel like a zombie, movement signals safety to your nervous system.

4. Feed Yourself Like You Love Yourself (aka Blood Sugar is a Bitch)

Alcohol dehydrates you. It also messes with your blood sugar. So does stress. And guess what messes with sleep? Yep.

• Drink electrolytes (coconut water, Ultima, bone broth)

• Eat meals with protein + healthy fats to stabilize blood sugar

• Spoonful of almond butter or a boiled egg before bed if you keep waking up at 3AM with heart palpitations and an existential crisis

5. Tools for Nighttime Anxiety (That Don’t Involve Scrolling)

If you’re awake, trying to force sleep will backfire. Instead:

• Insight Timer or Aura app for guided sleep meditations

  • (pop on your circadian glasses before opening your phone)

• Body scan or Yoga Nidra (look up Tracee Stanley)

• Legs up the wall + a weighted blanket

Let rest be enough. Even if your eyes are open, your body is recalibrating. And please, for the love of your nervous system, stop doom-scrolling your way through sobriety. You’re only making it harder for your body to aclimate.

6. A Warning (But Not a Judgy One)

If you were drinking heavily (8+ drinks/day), quitting cold turkey is risky. quitting cold turkey can be dangerous and potentially cause seizures. Tapering with a provider is safer, and some prescribers use meds like gabapentin or trazodone to support short-term withdrawal-related sleep issues. This is your actual health, not a self-control contest: there aren’t trophies awarded for the most suffering.

The First Few Weeks Suck, But You're Healing

You won’t sleep like a baby right away, but that doesn’t mean you’re permanently broken. Your body is learning to self-soothe and your brain is literally rewiring. Every night you don’t drink, you’re proving to your nervous system that rest is possible without sedation.

This is what reclaiming your story AND your health looks like.

So no, you’re not just giving up booze… you’re getting your life back.

And babe, that’s the kind of sleep that actually restores you.