How to Find Purpose: 7 Steps to Clarity When You Feel Lost

FYI: Your purpose isn’t hiding in a Pinterest quote or that podcast episode you saved six months ago.  

Even better news, I am here to tell you that you don’t need another “find your why” worksheet or self help book... You need a reason to get out of bed that doesn’t feel like you’re clocking into a life you didn’t even choose.

For years, I chased the idea of purpose like it was going to fall out of the sky. I thought if I worked harder, “aligned my energy,” or finally committed to the damn 75 Hard challenge, I’d just know.
Instead, I got… tired. And if I’m being honest? A little bitter.

If you feel lost right now, it's likely because you're running someone else’s playbook and your body is finally over it.

Here’s how to stop outsourcing your life and start finding the one you’re actually meant to live.

Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Purpose

Purpose doesn’t come with a permission slip.

The longer you wait for someone to give you the green light — your boss, your mom, the internet — the longer you’re handing your life to people who aren’t living it.

Why this matters: The people you’re waiting on? They’re too busy living their own story (or still stuck in theirs) to hand you a hall pass.

Ask yourself:

• If nobody else’s opinion mattered, what would I do this year?

• What’s one thing I’d start today if I wasn’t worried about looking ridiculous?

Pay Attention to Your Jealousy — It’s a Compass

Jealousy is just unclaimed desire with bad PR.

When you feel that gut-punch envy, pause. Look closer. It’s not about wanting their life; it’s about recognizing a spark in yourself that you’ve been ignoring.

Journal prompt: Write down three people you’re jealous of and circle the exact thing they have or do that you want more of in your own life.

Notice What Drains You (and What Doesn’t)

Purpose isn’t just about what feels inspiring — it’s about what you can sustain.

Keep a running list for one week:

• Column A: Things that give me energy

• Column B: Things that drain me

Pattern to watch for: If most of your day is in Column B, your nervous system is in survival mode, not creative mode — and purpose won’t bloom in constant depletion.

Get Back in Your Body

Turns out, your body’s been holding the truth the whole time and you’ve just been too busy to listen.

When you’re disconnected from your body, every decision is filtered through fear, logic, and “shoulds.” When you reconnect? You start feeling what’s a yes and what’s a no without overthinking it.

Try:

• A 10-minute walk without your phone

• Breathwork or stretching before you check email

• Dancing like an idiot in your kitchen at 11 PM

Follow the Tiny Pulls

Not everything has to be a leap.

Sometimes it’s a phone call, a free class, a single journal page. Follow the smallest thread of curiosity and see where it takes you — because often, the “big” purpose starts in small, quiet beginnings.

Example: I didn’t launch Look Love Heal from a vision board session. I just started writing about the things that pissed me off and lit me up — and women started writing back.

Let Yourself Be Bad at Something New

Your purpose might require you to be a beginner again, which means awkward, clumsy, and maybe even a little embarrassed.  I am here to remind you that being bad at something doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path, it you’re on a new one.

Make Peace with the Mess

Your purpose isn’t a neat little elevator pitch, it’s a living, breathing thing.

You’ll get it “wrong,” pivot, outgrow it, and start again. That’s not failure. That’s proof you’re actually living.

FAQ: Finding Your Purpose When You Feel Lost

Q: What is the fastest way to find my purpose?
A: Start doing anything that interests you, even if it’s small. Purpose is discovered through action, not overthinking.

Q: How do I find my purpose when I feel stuck in survival mode?
A: Focus on stabilizing your nervous system first — burnout and clarity can’t coexist.

Q: Can my purpose change over time?
A: Absolutely. Your purpose can evolve as you do. What mattered at 25 might not matter at 40 — and that’s growth, not failure.