Reparenting
Healing by Giving Yourself What You Missed
Reparenting is the practice of giving yourself, as an adult, the love, care, and boundaries you didn’t consistently receive in childhood. It’s the act of becoming the parent your younger self needed.
Where Reparenting Comes From
When you were young, you didn’t choose the home, caregivers, or culture you were born into. Maybe your needs were minimized, your feelings dismissed, or your boundaries ignored. The child in you adapted brilliantly, but she also absorbed messages that left cracks in your sense of safety and worth.
Reparenting is the process of filling those cracks—not by waiting for someone else to give you what was missing, but by choosing to offer it to yourself. It’s how you stop outsourcing love and start generating it from within.
Signs You Might Need Reparenting
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You crave approval but dismiss your own voice
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You struggle with self-soothing and rely on external fixes
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You repeat cycles of burnout or toxic relationships
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You avoid emotions because they feel overwhelming
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You’re compassionate with others but harsh with yourself
Why It’s Not Your Fault
Children are wired to adapt to the environment they’re born into. If your caregivers couldn’t provide consistent love, regulation, or safety, that wasn’t a failure on your part—it was a gap in the system around you. Reparenting is not about blame; it’s about reclaiming power.
First Step to Rewrite the Pattern
Practice micro-reparenting: when your inner critic pipes up, pause and ask, “What would I say to a five-year-old who felt this way?” Then say it to yourself. It feels awkward at first, but over time it re-trains your nervous system to expect compassion instead of criticism.
Related Terms
Want to reconnect with your inner child and integrate her wisdom?
→ Start with The Rewrite™: 7-week program to end self-abandonment and build radical self-trust.
